Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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