This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
