I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
