Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
