Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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