:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
