I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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