Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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