So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
