I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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