My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
