note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
