this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
