Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
