I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
