first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
