Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
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We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's never too late to be topless.
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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