How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
