Walk of Shame today included voting.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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