Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
