Dual....:-)
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
