so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
now i know why i became what i already was.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
