I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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