I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
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