No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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