i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize