sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
