Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
