At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
