At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
