I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
