is your mom at the bar?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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