Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
