OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You ate ashes out of my bong
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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