Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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