woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I have post one night stand depression
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