just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
