i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
