is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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