She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
