I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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