I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
