This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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