Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
