It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
