just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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