she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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