I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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