Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
