FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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