Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
