I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
