He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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