Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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