Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
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how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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