so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
