I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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