Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
