It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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