there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
