an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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