I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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