Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
