I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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