her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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