your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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