I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
